Die Hard
2: Die Harder (zero
stars)
review by Jon
Waterman
New York cop John McClane is in Washington DC’s Dulles
Airport on Christmas Eve, awaiting the arrival of his wife’s
plane. Once again, his Christmas plans are in jeopardy, because
a group of terrorists have set up shop inside and nearby the
international airport. The group overrides air traffic control
and threatens to crash every plane that’s now forced
to circle around in the air if their demands are not met. Thousands
could die as the jets run out of fuel. Time is short, but luckily
so is John McClane’s patience. It looks like lightning
has struck twice…and harder.
Your first clue as to how bad this movie is should be the
title. Sure it sounds like their making fun of themselves (I
mean, let’s be honest here. “Die
Hard” is
a pretty bad title, too), but once you get just a few minutes
into this picture, you see how unintentionally ridiculous the
whole package is. The title suggests they’re trying to
up the ante, and it certainly does try. But in the process,
it completely neglects all of the positive aspects of the first
film, thus turning it into another mindless, unbearable action
flick with no substance.
I honestly can’t think of a positive thing to say about
this movie. The music score is a cartoony, over-punctuated
mess with synch cues that should never have been included.
The editing is so bad that they wait a couple seconds sometimes
before starting the action of the scene (such as zipping up
the body bag). The acting is just horrendous from the stop-motion
delivery of the reporter girl to the overly sinister henchman
to the irrationally over-the-top angry police captain trying
to thwart the now extra cheesy John McClane from saving everyone’s
butts. Of course it doesn’t help that the dialogue their
given equally abysmal. It’s just painful to watch these
people interact with each other. Steven E. de Souza is back
from the first one to write the script with first-timer Doug
Richardson. Look, I understand there were one-liners in the
previous film, but even these are roundabout and stretches
some times. Just the fax? You seriously went through all that
trouble to deliver that line? And when do I get my money back?
So the dialogue is bad, but the story is even worse. Right
away, we’re shown some man ass as what turns out to be
the main baddy practices naked karate. Well, those skills never
come into play and the unexpected sight of this detracts from
listening to the key plot points the newscast is relaying in
the background. Sort of a minor point in comparison, but still
worth mentioning. The majority of the story is really spent
by filling time in between the next stupid action scene. It’s
not that things like the conveyor belt fight are unrealistic,
they’re just not fun. The snow mobile chase, the fight
on the wing of an airplane, the overuse of slow motion during
the gun fight scene (ever roll? Really? Don’t you think
the movie is long enough as it is?) – they’re all
laughably bad. I have no problem suspending my disbelief for
an action movie, but how can you possibly ask me to do that
when absolutely nothing else works? Maybe if the characters
seemed like they could be real people. Maybe if the inner workings
of the airport didn’t look like elaborate sets built
around the fight choreography. Maybe if there was a couple
of redeeming qualities in here that would allow me to get lost
in the excitement, then some of these unrealistic stunts would
be okay. Instead, I can’t decide what was worse – the
ejector seat shot with McClane flying high above the flames,
or the icicle through the skull. Do you think the first “Die
Hard” would have that? Yeah, me either. That one was
good.
respond to jon@filmbrats.com
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