Hey everybody,

2007 marks the fifth anniversary of filmbrats.com. To celebrate, the site is going to undergo a few changes over the coming months. One of those changes is the loss of the hotline. If you have this page bookmarked, you might want to switch it over to the main page where you'll find all the information you need as to what's new, what's to come and what I think of everything film.

Thank you all for visiting the hotline, and I hope to see you back on the main site for at least five more years!

Hey everybody. I'm back again with a few more film festival reviews and a few new releases as well. I'd like to welcome back guest critic Ryan Wiggins to the site for his joking yet honest take at Stranger Than Fiction. You may remember that he reviewed Without a Paddle a while back. Well I hope you read it, because he's asked me to retire it from the site. In addition, I have my review of Borat as promised. I also was able to catch Volver so I posted that for you all as well. I hope that by the end of the year, I'll have completely caught up with my film festival coverage. That means this site should be seeing a whole lot of activity in the coming weeks. Be sure to watch out for that. In the meantime, enjoy these 6 new reviews.



Stranger Than Fiction- A Real Contender
By Ryan Wiggins

When I saw Stranger than Fiction starring Will Ferrell, first I said "Wow," then I started screaming "Four Stars!" This magical romp has got De La Hoya written all over it, and I DO mean Oscar.

Wait, what's that noise, you ask? Well it's either the deafening sound of bees, or else the buzz has reached a fever pitch. I'm going with the latter.

This comical mind-bender is one of the year's best films. Let me reiterate- four stars. I tried to turn my hands but they seemed to be locked in a fist-like position, with my thumbs sticking straight up in the air.
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+++++++++


Volver
Review by Jon Waterman

****

Although Raimunda and Sole’s mother died nearly four years ago, there are many that feel that she lives on. Several in the village, including close friend to the girls Augustina heard their Aunt Paula talking to her for a while until Aunt Paula finally passed on as well. That event became just one in a tumultuous series of problems for Raimunda. Not only did her close relative die, so did her husband at the hands of their daughter (also named Paula, after the aunt). So, not only does she have to find a way to cover up and get rid of this newly found dead weight, she also has to provide for her family. That’s not to say that Sole doesn’t have problems either, because now her mother’s spirit has come to live with her.

I think I just found my favorite Pedro Almodóvar movie. I have not seen a lot of the writer/director’s work, but from what I know of him I can say that this is not only his best work, but also his most accessible. This story has plenty of trademark quirks, twists and turns, but they aren’t as radical or extreme. They seem like perfectly acceptable extensions of the plot giving the film a nice “normal” progression – a word not usually used to describe Pedro’s pictures. Even so, it’s still essentially an unpredictable tale that should keep you interested.

I’m glad Almodóvar didn’t take go down some of the roads his writing presented him with.
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+++++++++


Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
Review by Jon Waterman

****

Borat, a television personality in Kazakhstan, is asked by their government to travel to the United States. His purpose is to study, and document on film, what makes America so great. Borat fully intends to carry out his assignment, until he sees an episode of Baywatch in his hotel room. He instantly falls in love with CJ (aka Pamela Anderson) and makes it his new mission to travel to California in order to seek her out and make her his bride.

Half narrative. There’s no hiding the fact that most of this stuff is made up. As much as Sacha Baron Cohen would like to make us all believe that Borat is a real person by conducting tons of promotional interviews as the character he made famous on his brutally hysterical series “Da Ali G Show,” the situations and camera coverage is simply a little too polished to be anything but fake. The good news is that doesn’t matter one bit. Luckily the team of accomplished British comedy writers (Cohen, Anthony Hines, Peter Baynham and Dan Mazer) does a great job of taking a 90% improvisational entity and giving him a fun and interesting narrative thread.
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++++++++


Change of Address
Review by Jon Waterman

***1/2

French horn player David just moved to Paris and is in need of a place to stay. He serendipitously runs into Anne when placing an ad for his teaching services. She offers him a chance to stay with her friend, which is soon revealed to be her. He accepts and they quickly become close friends. In the meantime, David finds himself falling for Julia, one of his young students, and comes to Anne for advice. However, her advice backfires when during the weekend excursion between David and Julia, a man named Julien enters the picture. Then….

If ever there were a French Woody Allen, it would be writer/director Emmanuel Mouret. And I’m talking about good Woody Allen, too. The story may not be as original, seeing as how it is a rather ordinary, yet well-executed screwball romantic comedy, but the fumbling awkward and charming delivery of Mouret (who plays David) is extremely reminiscent. The style of humor also works in the same vein. Sure, a lot of the humor comes from the stupidity of the characters (meaning smart people that make horrible decisions), but much of it also comes from the awkwardness and various tensions between the four as well as some clever lines.
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+++++++++


Jasmine Women
Review by Jon Waterman

***1/2

Young Mo wants to be a movie star. Well, actually, she just wants more out of life than helping her mother run the portrait studio in Shanghai. It just so happens that the opportunity to become a movie star presents itself. Her mother of course is heavily resistant. As Mo gets older she finds that her daughter wants to break free as well. Li aspires to be the wife of a popular communist boy at school. Following her ideal man, she soon discovers that perfection may not be obtainable. Then there’s Li’s daughter Hua. Hua is simply looking for honest true love. Can any of these women find what they’re looking for?

The film is divided into three chapters that are at the same time extremely distinct, while also melding together to form a fluid and cohesive whole. Chapter 1: Grandma takes place in 1937. The various green hues that permeate the mise-en-scene not only aid the estranged relationship between Mo and her mother, but also lend itself towards myriad metaphorical interpretations about the era and the character’s journey. It’s like a new spring is blooming in her life, but the vibrant yet dark shades of green let us know just how tumultuous it is. Chapter 2: Mother is set in 1958. Mo is all grown up and the color palette has changed with her attitude. Now the world is a sea of warm red tones. Not only does this convey the obvious Communist idealism of Mo’s daughter and her new husband but also the burning desire within Mo for so many things. Chapter 3: Daughter brings us to 1981. This dawning technological age contains more blue, but it’s the emotional states of the characters that really make it this way. The desire is overwrought with frost while somehow still shimmering a lasting beacon of hope.
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++++++++


A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints
Review by Jon Waterman

***

Dito left New York in 1986. He just couldn’t handle watching his friends spiraling further down into the gutters. He didn’t want to end up following the same path and regret never trying to make something out of himself. His father thought of him as a traitor for leaving his family and his home, and subsequently stopped speaking to him. Years have past and now that his father is sick, Dito finds himself forced to finally come back home and confront all the demons he left behind as well as recognize the saints.

I’m sure the book probably doesn’t suffer this problem, but I think the movie would have been much better if all the present day stuff were taken out entirely. Those sequences were already few and far between, plus the tone of the film doesn’t quite match, nor does the caliber of acting. The scenes all seemed forced, and the horrible present day ending honestly almost ruined the entire movie for me. It was that bad. Up until that point, however, I was riveted.
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Festival coverage is coming slow and furious. Sorry about the delays. I'm working on a hopefully soon to be announced development that's eating up quite a bit of time. But I'm still working hard and trying to pump out all the reviews that I know you so desperately want and need. Along with the the rest of the festival flicks (see previous post for the list), I'm also going to be reviewing Borat. I'll also be trying to throw in some other films by festival directors after a short while as well. And we can't forget that all the award contenders are about to flood the theaters. I'll be busy, so keep checking back for hopefully frequent updates.


The Last Gaze
Review by Jon Waterman

***

Homero is one of the top painters in Querétaro, Mexico. He’s well respected by the art community, and, despite his age, well liked by the younger members of the opposite sex. Everything seems to be going great for him until one day he finds himself unable to see the color green (as it is replaced by white). The doctor tells him that he suffers from a rare disorder that will soon also take away his ability to see blue hues and finally red, thus leaving him completely blind. Meanwhile, Mei seems to be coming into her own as a young woman. She’s finally met a boy she likes and in general is content with her life. Then one day, her prostitute mother leaves her to care for her grandparents, forcing her to become a maid within the brothel that used to employ her mother.

The film starts off with a shot of an empty bedroom splattered with blood, followed by the real opening of the film “one year earlier.” They come back to this scene every once in a while. Normally, I’m against the whole flashback (or in this case, flashforward) thing, but this time it works. I can’t really explain why without potentially spoiling anything, but it’s pretty necessary to make the film as a whole and as an experience more effective. The rest of story is very well done, too. However, there is one thing that irked me.
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++++++++


Princess
Review by Jon Waterman

****

After leaving his monastery, August becomes the legal guardian to a five year old niece he’s never met before. Mia was recently orphaned when her mother Christina suddenly died. Instantly upon arrival, August learns that not only does he have to deal with the struggle of raising a child with resentment and all kinds of other problems, but he must also confront his sister’s legacy as the porn star named Princess. Determined to prevent his sister’s name from being tarnished forever, he sets out to destroy the people that manipulated and profited off of his poor sister’s tragic double life.

This first feature effort by Danish animator/director Anders Morgenthaler is probably one of the best movies I’ll see all year. The film is just constant quality entertainment from the clever, flashy pop-art title sequence to the nearly perfect ending. There’s plenty of action to be had mixed in with the interesting, but very straightforward storyline. If I have one complaint, it’s that there isn’t a whole lot of depth within the narrative, nor are there any real surprises. But that’s fine because the subject matter is still good enough as it is. It’s just a straight-up revenge story starring a priest and his accomplice niece.

And it’s also probably the best combination of live action and animated elements since “Who Framed Roger Rabbit.”
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+++++++++


Suburban Mayhem
Review by Jon Waterman

*1/2

Katrina Skinner is just your average suburban teenager. That is, if your average suburban teenager is a manipulative, violent, over-sexed sadist. Not that her family is all that average either. Her brother is in prison for murdering a guy that talked back one too many times. Her drug addicted mother has been banned from showing her face. And you know her young son is just bound to turn out great. The only normal one, the unheard voice of reason, is her father. That’s probably why she’s plotting to have him killed.

Remember how “American Beauty” started out with the daughter being interviewed on camera talking about potentially killing her father, and then we go back to see the story play out? Well, this starts off virtually the same way, except this time the daughter’s being interviewed by a reporter and the deed has already been done. And they keep cutting back to various characters being interviewed. And it’s not nearly as good.
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++++++++


Syndromes and a Century
Review by Jon Waterman

***1/2

The first half of “Syndromes and a Century” focuses on Dr. Toey as she hires a brand new doctor and interacts with all the interesting hospital workers and quirky patients. When she is confronted with the unrequited love of the timid janitor, Dr. Toey must explain to him that sometimes things just aren’t meant to be, using her past relationship as an example. In the second half, Dr. Nohng, the new hire, is put through the steps and is forced to address senior physicians, parents of patients and his girlfriend troubles.

I’m not sure if I could do less justice to a film through an introductory paragraph than I just did up there. That makes it look like the two halves are completely separate wholes, when in reality, although they have quite a few differences, they are essentially one in the same. Not only do they share a lot of the same scenes and a lot of the same characters, but they also share a lot of the same themes. They’re just placed in what appears to be an alternate universe and happen to follow a different lead. I think everyone has a chance to bring home something different after watching the mirrored episodes, but what I take away from it is that no matter where you are or what you’re going through, there is someone else out there, possibly in a different time and space, that is going through a very similar situation; that many key elements of human nature are universal and necessary for survival; and that no one will ever be certain of anything. Does that help sell it a little better for you?
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++++++++


The Free Will
Review by Jon Waterman

***

Theo is placed in a psychiatric institution after violently raping three young women. Upon his release he gets a job working at a printing plant, a place he hopes will keep him far away from temptation and potential relapse. Instead, what he finds is the boss’ daughter, Nettie. Desperate to start a new life, Theo secludes himself and backs away from any contact with the opposite sex. Nettie has other ideas and sees a nearly perfect match for her in Theo. Was he released too soon? Is he able to conduct any sort of actual relationship? Does he deserve to if he can?

You know what? I didn’t see one damned whale in this whole freakin’ picture. And good thing I don’t have kids, because I’m not sure I’d want to explain why the bloody lady was crying during mommy/daddy time in the beginning. What a brutal scene that was. Not the most graphic I’ve seen on film, but the violence really helps to set a tone that will be completely flipped around on you a couple times over. The movie does a great job of taking your expectations and preconceptions and throwing them out the window.
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++++++++


The Magicians
Review by Jon Waterman

*

In 1937, right in the middle of the Spanish Civil War, an amateur magician and filmmaker came to the Sant Julia orphanage every Sunday to entertain the young kids. At first, he would perform tricks and show movies from his personal collection. Then they decided to make their own movie, “Imitating the Fakir,” with the entire cast made up of orphaned boys and girls. Now, nearly seventy years later, a few of the surviving cast members gather together at the school to reminisce about the movie and what life was like for them during this troubled time.

Or at least that’s the premise initially presented to us. After a while though, the movie, like a small child, wanders off in various directions forcing us to go places that we weren’t really looking to go. The only problem is that first time filmmakers Elisabet Cabeza and Esteve Riambau don’t discipline the child when it goes astray. Not even so much as a threat of turning the car around and heading right back to the orphanage. No, instead we get bounced around from the interesting stuff about the film and the octogenarians’ lives to the mildly interesting, yet not always fully appropriate history of the school and events of the civil war, to the wild tangent about Cabeza’s late father who was also a kid in the film and how she got to feel closure, etc.
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Hi everybody. The 42nd Chicago International Film Festival is now over, so you know what that means. Although I didn't get to see everything I had planned to, I was still able to manage seeing 27 movies. I took plenty of notes, which I'm currently transcribing so I can write all those reviews. Here's what you can expect in the coming days (and most likely weeks): The Magicians, The Free Will, Syndromes and a Century, Suburban Mayhem, Princess, The Last Gaze, A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints, Jasmine Women, Change of Address, Renaissance, Rampage, Time, The Zero Years, Face Control, Severance, Summer Palace, Belle Toujours, Wristcutters: A Love Story, Shortbus, Summercamp!, Buzz, In Bed, Midnight My Love, Taxidermia, Shoot the Messenger, DarkBlueAlmostBlack, and Street Thief. Be sure to check back often, because I'll be telling you which films are worth seeking out at your local indie film theater or rental store.

Hey everyone. This is the last update for a little while. I'll be immersing myself in the Chicago International Film Festival for the next twelve days. I'll be back here with up to 31 movies to review for you all, so you won't want to miss that. Keep checking back. Until then, enjoy these three new reviews.



Jackass Number Two
Review by Jon Waterman

***1/2

Johnny Knoxville and the gang are back on the big screen with a whole new batch of wild and crazy stunts and pain-inducing shenanigans. The storyline is the exact same this time around, which means there is none. Instead, just like the television show from whence it came, the audience is treated to a long series of vignettes taking you from one outrageous prank or stunt to the next. It starts off with a suburban running of the bulls and ultimately culminates in an extremely uncharacteristic song and dance routine at the end. No, seriously.

Despite the comparably lame and boring ending, this is still probably going to be one of the funniest movies of the year. I don’t know what it is, but there’s just something about watching these boneheads try to hurt each other and themselves that’s superbly fascinating and hilarious. Call it the “America’s Funniest Home Videos” factor. Except these guys don’t have Bob Saget providing voice over. Their natural reactions to getting a leech placed on their eyeball or having their limo is filled with bees is enough.
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+++++++++


13 (Tzameti)
Review by Jon Waterman

**

Sebastian is a young handyman trying to make a living by fixing up the roof of a seemingly wealthy man’s house. He needs the money to help provide for his parents and siblings who are barely scraping by. When the home owner suddenly dies, he’s left with no one to pay him for the work he’s done so far. What he does have, however, is a letter addressed to the owner. After overhearing a conversation, he believes the contents of this secret envelope are the key to earning a very large sum of money. Sebastian blindly follows the directions given to him and suddenly finds himself in an inescapable underworld where gambling is the game and human beings are the playing pieces.

The concept is strong and the game itself has great potential to be incredibly intense, but the film never really hooked me the way I thought it would. Various crime bosses get together to make some desperate soul compete in their sick game. Each man is given a gun. They stand around in a circle and point the gun at the back of the head of the person in front of them. They all look up at a light. Once that light goes on, the game goes on. The first time around, the suspense is chilling. The referee shouts the rules while looking equally nervous and authoritarian. Bodies hit the floor and you’re thinking this could get pretty good. Then after seeing the same thing happen a few times, the predictability increases and you slide to the back of your seat.
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+++++++++


LOL
Review by Jon Waterman

***

Tim and Ada have been dating for a little while, but Ada is growing tired thanks to Tim’s work load. Then add on that Tim’s friend Chris is visiting from New York for an extended period of time. But Chris has his own girlfriend problems thanks to this new found long distance. Now he’s fighting with Greta much more he ever imagined he would. Meanwhile Tim’s other buddy Alex is working on furthering his music career while exploring a couple different avenues for potential girlfriends. One is within is reach in his hometown Chicago and the other is down in St Louis and he’s only corresponded with her through her adult website. Life can be complicated, but if you can’t laugh (out loud) at yourself, then what’s the point?

Just like Joe Swanberg’s previous film “Kissing on the Mouth,” a brief synopsis doesn’t do it justice, as the movie is really about an underlying concept. “LOL” is shot in a similar style, meaning they take the concept and improvise scenes, shot in virtual consecutive order. There is no script, no real planned plot points. The story develops as its shot and edited, until it takes on a life of its own and reaches its natural conclusion. This film has a more coherent storyline and builds a nice arc for itself within the three young twenty-something guys’ lives. However, the overall concept is relatively basic and isn’t fleshed out in quite the way I think it probably could have been.
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The reviews just keep on coming. I'll be back later this week with three more reviews: 13 (Tzameti), Jackass Number Two, and LOL. After that there'll be a small lull, because I'll be attending the Chicago International Film Festival from October 6-18. After that, I'll be armed with notes for reviews on potentially 30+ movies. It will be filmbrats' most comprehensive festival coverage to date. You definitely won't want to miss that. Keep checking back.



Little Miss Sunshine
Review by Jon Waterman

**

Little Olive has a dream to become a beauty queen. She entered herself into a regional pageant not too long ago, and came in second. Well, it turns out that the winner is eventually disqualified, and now Olive has a spot in the state competition. The only thing that can possibly stop her is her grown up family that she must rely on to get her all the way to Redondo Beach, California. Normally, that would be all well and good, except this family is the definition of dysfunctional, as is their car.

And the movie is the definition of conventional indie flick. The characters are your random assortment of mentally tortured individuals struggling to come to terms or accomplish one very specific thing by the end of the movie mixed in with one wacky free spirited voice of reason. The daughter wants to feel attractive and thinks that winning the competition will help; the son has taken a vow of silence until he can join the air force; the uncle’s failed suicide attempt left him trying to find a meaning in life; the father is trying to get a self-help book published, but it’s easy to see why he’s unsuccessful so far; and the grandfather tells it like it is. They’re all pretty bland and one-dimensional when you get down to it.
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++++++++



Snakes on a Plane
Review by Jon Waterman

*1/2

In Hawaii, Eddie Kim arranges to have a man killed. What he didn’t plan for was to have some cool dude named Sean witness the whole thing. Now Kim wants him dead, and he’ll go to any length imaginable to make it happen. FBI Agent Neville Flynn gets to him first and is able to get Sean aboard a cross-ocean flight to Los Angeles where Sean will testify and finally put that madman behind bars. Unfortunately, the trip won’t be nearly as smooth as they all think, because it’s soon discovered that Kim has thought ahead. He has put snakes on the plane!

The movie that the studio has actually been proud to promote as a B-movie delivers exactly what it promises. This movie is unusual. It’s certainly bad in a campy fun way, and any audience you see it with knows going in not to expect Oscar worthy material and they will gladly laugh along with you at the absurdity of it all. The producers knew it was being constructed in this way. It had to be if it were to work at all. The amazing part is that it somehow avoids coming off as a spoof or a rip-off of bad movies and actually becomes its own legitimately bad movie. But dammit if it ain’t fun to watch anyway.
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++++++++



Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Review by Jon Waterman

***

Ricky Bobby is the premier racecar driver on the NASCAR circuit. With a little help from his good buddy Cal, Ricky is consistently number one not only on the racetrack, but also with his fans and in his personal life. Everything is going perfectly for him, until one day when a new racer breaks onto the scene. A Frenchman named Jean Girrard appears to be a better driver, which sends Ricky Bobby into a tailspin that he must overcome if he’s to regain everything he worked so hard to achieve. USA! USA!

If you loved “Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy,” then you’ll like this movie. Brought to you by director Adam McKay who co-wrote it with star Will Ferrell, this film is the second in the “Mediocre American Man” trilogy. It certainly fits the same mold. Take a doofus in a high profile position and exploit the stupidity of him and those around him for laughs as he sinks to the lowest of lows. It doesn’t fit the same funny mold, however.
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++++++++



Another Gay Movie
Review by Jon Waterman

*1/2

Four gay teenagers have just graduated from High School. Determined not to go off to college the virgins they are now, they make a pact to sleep with someone outside of their small circle of friends before the big Labor Day bash at Muffler’s house. They establish the ground rules and their preferred placement (top or bottom), then it’s off to the sexual races. Each of the four is out there looking for something specific, and of course they’ll come across the kinds of guys they find attractive. But can they close the deal on time?

Sound similar to “American Pie?” Well, it should. This movie is a spoof that straps on the gay face to many of the situations you find in that film that begat a wretched franchise. This film just begets wretched jokes. If you’ve never seen “American Pie,” that’s okay. I don’t think it will make any of the jokes funnier. It’ll only help the premise seem less familiar. Spoofing a movie so directly like this means it practically writes itself. Unfortunately, writer/director Todd Stephens still apparently got lazy.
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++++++++



Il Mare
Review by Jon Waterman

***

When Sung-hyun moves into his new house out on the lake, or “Il Mare” as they say in Italian, he finds a Christmas card addressed to him, the new tenant. It was left by Eun-ju, who asks that the new resident forward all her mail. This comes as a shock to Sung-hyun, because he’s pretty sure he’s the first tenant. Not only that, but it’s only 1997, not 1999 like the card states. He leaves a response in the mailbox attempting to straighten out the confusion, and the two begin corresponding with each other. The slowly sort everything out and discover that somehow they are in fact living two years apart, and they may just be falling for each other.

The film takes quite a while for the story to really get rolling. It’s easy to understand their disbelief and apprehension, considering time travel is possible neither in real life, nor within the constructs of this movie. Or at least so they think…. So, the first half or so is spent watching them try to figure out what we, the audience, knew going in. It takes even longer for them to really start developing feelings for each other, something we, the audience, expect and nearly need to have happen sooner.
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Hey everybody. It's one of those rare months when I post twice in one week. Check below for reviews of "The Illusionist" by new reviewer Lisa and "The OH in Ohio" by myself. Today I bring you four by me, including this first one you see below which actually just opened in theaters. How rare is that on this site? Below Kirby Dick's film you'll find a couple Philip K Dick adaptations and a classic 70s porn movie where you see a lot of, well.... I think you understand the theme of the day. Keep checking back, because you never know when you'll find something new.




This Film Is Not Yet Rated
Review by Jon Waterman

**

Every filmgoer in the United States knows about it, but how much do we use it? The Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) presents the public with ratings for virtually every film, thus giving parents a guideline as to what films are appropriate for their children to see. The most common ratings are G, PG, PG-13, and R. This last one is the bane of high school students everywhere. Every once in a while, a film will receive an NC-17 rating, which means that no one under 17 years of age is permitted to see the film. The rating is a kiss of death to filmmakers, because not only does it mean fewer people can attend their films, but also that the mass media will refuse to advertise it, most distributors will refuse to carry it, and most theaters will refuse to show it. Is the MPAA really a voluntary system designed solely to inform the masses, or is it really a form of censorship?

Documentarian Kirby Dick attempts to expose the MPAA as the latter, citing inconsistencies in the ratings system, the anonymity of its ratings panel, the nearly fascist appeals process, and its direct ties to the major motion picture studios. The argument is somewhat strong, but focuses on the wrong factors. The majority of the time is spent trying to determine just who these raters are. In order to do this, he hires a private investigator to do some elementary spy work. The MPAA believes that making these names public will cause undue pressure and influence on the raters. Dick takes a vendetta approach to revealing them while only glancing over the fact that the raters are internally influenced by the studios that they consult throughout the rating process.
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+++++++++


A Scanner Darkly
Review by Jon Waterman

**1/2

Bob Arctor is an undercover agent working for the police. He’s so undercover that not even his own co-workers know his real identity. That’s because he, along with everyone else on the force, wears a suit called a “scramble suit” that constantly morphs his appearance and distorts his voice. No one can recognize him as anything other than a part of the unit. His main purpose is to eradicate the production and distribution of the highly psychotropic, addictive, and destructive drug Substance D one dealer at a time. To accomplish this, he must infiltrate a group of people from the inside and gather information that will bring them down. The only problem is that he’s in danger of being brought down himself, if the police discovers he’s already an addict.

Director Richard Linklater wrote the script based on Philip K. Dick’s short story. Normally, Dick’s stories have translated into very good movies. I wouldn’t say this is an exception, but it doesn’t quite live up to the same standards as “Blade Runner” or “Total Recall.” It’s more on par with “Minority Report” in that the concept is there, and it’ll keep you entertained, but it hardly blows you away. Personally, I think this is slightly better than the largely forgettable “Minority Report,” and makes for a solid science fiction story. Keep in mind I haven’t read the original story, but perhaps the problem is that the concept behind this one isn’t all that great. It’s not really treading too much new ground and the storyline becomes extremely predictable. Probably the coolest element is those scramble suits, and that’s a shame.
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++++++++++


Total Recall
Review by Jon Waterman

****

For some reason, Douglas Quaid has always been fascinated by the planet Mars. He has dreams about it and he really wants to take a vacation there, even though it’s commonly known to be the cesspool of the universe. His wife has no interest in going to a place like that, and so Quaid is essentially stuck. That is, until he decides to take a virtual vacation. Rekall, Inc. promises to deliver a memory into his brain that will create a completely realistic vacation. Quaid chooses to add a little excitement with his package by inserting a secret agent angle into the trip. Before he’s able to get strapped down into the machine, something goes wrong and he has to fight his way out of Rekall. People are out to kill him and so now he’s off to Mars to find out why and also to find out who he really is.

The beauty of this film isn’t that you don’t know what’s real and what’s not; if it’s part of the implanted memory or if Quaid actually happens to be a secret agent, but rather that it’s so fun that it doesn’t matter. Even so, the writers Ronald Shusett & Dan O’Bannon and Gary Goldman do a great job of keeping the ambiguity flowing throughout. It’d be very easy to assume that it’s all just part of the planned vacation that Quaid set up for himself if it weren’t for the fact that there are several scenes in the movie that don’t directly follow our hero. If it were really all in his head, that wouldn’t be part of the fantasy. We wouldn’t see anything that he couldn’t see and personally “remember.”
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+++++++++


Debbie Does Dallas
Review by Jon Waterman

***

Note: This review is for a hardcore, pornographic production. Some language within this text may not be appropriate for younger readers.

Debbie has just been hired as one of the brand new cheerleaders for the Dallas professional football team. The only problem is she doesn’t have enough money to move and live down there. All of her cheerleading pals get together and think of an idea as to how to raise some cash. They’re going to start up their own business, called Teen Services, and find odd jobs to do around town to help Debbie get down to Dallas. But when working doesn’t seem to be covering the entire expense, the girls collectively decide to try something a bit more drastic to raise the extra money. Look out Dallas, here comes Debbie!

Well, sorta. This has to be one of the most misleading titles in history. All throughout my formative years, anytime someone mentioned the title of this movie, I got a picture in my head of a film where Debbie is in a hotel room, taking on the men of Dallas, Texas. Or if not that, at least going around to various spots within the city to have sex with random guys (even if it were all completely scripted and fictionalized). Here we got neither. The promise of her being a cheerleader would suggest she would then proceed to do the entire football squad (a not uncommon premise, I’m sure). We don’t see that either. Debbie neither does Dallas, nor more than one person. What a disappointment. They should have called it “Debbie and Friends Bang One Guy Each to Get Debbie to Dallas.” Save this title for the sequel.
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